Xmas Eater — I Eat Crayons Santa Skull Veteran T-Shirt

SANTA CHECKED THE LIST TWICE. THEN HE ATE THE CRAYONS.

“I’M A MARIN MARAIN MAREN I EAT CRAYONS”

Every veteran knows the joke, and the ones who served in the Corps tell it best. Three tries at spelling the title, three red lines through them, and one honest answer in every color of the box. This Christmas, wear the punchline proud.

The Xmas Eater T-Shirt carries a full back print of a grinning bearded skull in a red Santa hat, three crayons tucked into the fur trim. Below it, I’M A sits over three crossed-out spelling attempts, MARIN, MARAIN and MAREN, each struck with a rough red line. The answer lands at the bottom in crayon-scrawled red, green and yellow: I EAT CRAYONS. A smaller Santa skull sits on the left chest, so the front keeps it simple and the back tells the joke.

For the vets who never take the title too seriously, and never take it lightly either.

A GIFT THAT MEANS SOMETHING

For a Marine veteran, a buddy from the old unit, or the military family member who laughs at the crayon jokes every time. A ready-made pick for Christmas morning, the unit holiday party, or a gift exchange that needs a little attitude.

Merry Christmas from the crayon box. Wear it loud.

IRON BARRACKS

All measurements are in inches. To compare chest measurements, lay your T-shirt flat, measure across the chest from underarm to underarm, and double that measurement. Measure body length from the highest shoulder point to the bottom hem.

Made on the Gildan 5000 Heavy Cotton Tee: a reliable everyday cotton tee with a classic fit and a solid feel.

Material: 100% cotton
Fit: Classic unisex fit
Feel: Midweight, breathable, everyday cotton
Neckline: Classic crew neck
Sleeves: Short sleeve
Print: High-quality graphic print

Sizing: Please check the size chart before ordering. Tip: measure a shirt you already own and compare. For a more relaxed fit, size up.

Treat it right and the print will last longer.

Machine wash cold, inside out
Wash with similar colors
Use mild detergent
Do not bleach
Tumble dry low, or hang dry for best print life
Do not iron directly on the print
Do not dry clean

Damage caused by not following these care instructions is not covered as a defect.

Made to order
Every item is made after you order it, just for you.

Production: 1–3 business days
US delivery: 2–5 business days after production
Shipping: Free on US orders $50+. $4.99 flat rate under $50. US only.
Tracking: Emailed when your order ships

Damaged, defective, misprinted, or wrong item?
Email hello@ironbarracks.com within 30 days of delivery with your order number and clear photos. We'll send a free replacement or a full refund. No need to return anything.

Returns & Size Swap
Made to order, so no returns for change of mind or size. Ordered the wrong size? Our Size Swap ships the new size for 50% of the price you paid, shipping included, no return needed.

Full details: Refund Policy